Depression gets better, even when it feels hopeless.

I felt ugly. I went to the mirror to reassure those feelings,  to accepf that I was ugly. But that’s not what happened. I went to the mirror and noticed all the things I loved about my face. My lips, my cheekbones, my complexion, all beautiful.

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It’s been a year since I started therapy. There were times throughout the process that I felt it wasn’t working. That changing your mindset wasn’t something that could really fix it. How can you thoughts fix your depression if it’s caused by a chemical imbalance? I thought anti-depressants would keep me from feeling sad. That wasn’t true either. While they did keep me from hitting rock bottom, the kind of rock bottom that keeps you crying for hours with no end in sight, the kind of rock bottom that keeps you from getting out of bed, the kind of rock bottom that makes you feel ok with dying, it didn’t give me the happiness I thought was automatic with drugs. It didn’t make me numb like I was hoping either. Because why feel anything at all?

But this photo proves therapy is working, my anti-depressants, as well as my cannabis, has their purpose, and that happiness isn’t something you just get, it’s something you have to work on. Even though you have moments of sadness, they’re only temporary. People get sad, it’s ok. You’re not weak, you’re not crazy, you’re human.

As I looked in the mirror to assure myself I was ugly, something happened. My initial thoughts of self loathing started shifting with more positive affirmations. And then the final thought came that shut all of them up.

“You’re not ugly, and stop trying to convince yourself otherwise. Nothing good will come of this. Get out of the damn bathroom and work on something productive.”

So I did. I took this picture and kept it moving. 

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Don’t let your inability to roll a joint keep you from rolling a joint.

Yes, I do smoke weed a lot of the time, because as I mentioned in my  about section, it helps to keep me balanced, happy and focused, but alas, I’m not well versed in the art of joint rolling. That’s ok, because it’s 2017 and the world has so many options for us poor pathetic excuses for stoners. There’s vapes, there’s travel sized bongs, Pinterest for DIY bongs when you’re in a pinch, the list goes on and on. But if you’d like to roll a joint and aren’t able to do it the ol’ fashion way, here’s some products that you may find helpful.

Rolling Joint Machines

Keep in mind that even though I smoke, I am also new to a lot of cannabis practices that have been happening for ages. I’m not sure how long the RAW joint rolling contraption has been available, but I’m very happy I discovered it.

So I had a little trouble with this, but that’s probably because I skimmed through the instructions because I hate instructions. I find my self skimming to get to the good part which usually leads me to the end and then I realize maybe I should just start over and actually read what it says.

But I didn’t do any of that. I went on youtube because I’m a proud VISUAL learner and I like seeing how things are done versus reading about them.

“Why does the fucking raw tent material thingy keep coming up” is a question I asked myself over and over after each failed attempt. It was simple, I wasn’t using enough flower. If you’re a cheap bitch like myself you best throw caution into wind and build that shit up. This is not the time to start rationing shit out. The more you put the better I found the sleeve stayed in place without popping up.

I also brought some crutches, aka pre-rolled tip because I really don’t like manual labor. It’s not for me. Make sure to put that in before you add the flower as that’s the CRUTCH of your joint (I’ll be here all night.) After doing both steps bring the bottom wheel back into place and start rolling forward.

After rolling it and making sure the flower is packed tightly together in the shape of a cigarette, add paper. I licked both sides of the paper as it was sticking out from the rollers because I couldn’t figure out which one to lick, making my joint loose. Like my vagina, I prefer my joints tight. Because nothing makes you feel more womanly than being able to crush a penis with the very part of your body that expels life.  But you can’t use yoni eggs for joints after they’ve been created so you’re only left with the choice to do it right the first time.

Make sure to roll the paper in there for a good while to make sure joint is tightly wound. After that, bring the bottom part back down to open it and you’ll find a beautiful joint waiting for your consumption.

Here’s a short one minute video that should help you:

 

Maybe you don’t want a joint rolling machine. Maybe you just can’t with any extra steps and want the cone pre-made for you.Which brings me to RAW Cones. Omg, before I discovered vapes, this was my favorite go to for smoking. They’re already ready to be packed with your strain of choice, and they even have a built in crutch. YASSSSSS!!!! COME THROUGH RAW!!!!

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How to do it man I gave up on being manual along time when it came to joint rolling. I’ve actually given up on a lot of things but that’s not really relevant. I will definitely try again in the future, but at this moment these practices suit me just fine. If you don’t wanna embrace technology for the beautiful gifts it’s bestowed upon us, that’s totally fine. But I can’t help you because I’m shit at rolling joints.

*Dances away vaudeville style*

Peach OG-Strain Review

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Flower Type: Indica Dominant

Indica 85% Sativa 15%

THC: 15%-20%

Treatment: Depression, Anxiety, Chronic Pain

Flavor: Peachy, Earthy, Citrus

I first purchased this strain from Cannabicare Collective in Oakland because they have a really good BOGO deal where you buy an eighth of a high end eighth and get another sungrown eighth for free, and I like a good deal. I spoke to a really nice budtender from there who recommended I try Peach OG as it’s a strong indica with all the traits that make indicas great. The relaxed feeling accompanied with a good body buzz.

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It doesn’t take much of this strain to get you relaxed. It starts off as a nice head high but melts down into your body to give you that nice relaxed body buzz that makes you feel tingly all over.

I also find when the head high moves down to my body, I’m more focused and more creative. Being high tends to help you relax enough to be creative without being self defeating and thinking all your ideas are stupid. With this strain I’ve found myself thinking of really good ideas without my usual “noooo that’s dumb” voice intervening. It makes me happy and confident.

Also, appearance wise I find it very pretty. It’s a lighter green with orange hairs and crystals all over.

I’d definitely recommend you try this strain if you have a little extra money as it tends to be on the more pricey side, but it’s definitely a purchase you won’t regret.