Don’t let your inability to roll a joint keep you from rolling a joint.

Yes, I do smoke weed a lot of the time, because as I mentioned in my  about section, it helps to keep me balanced, happy and focused, but alas, I’m not well versed in the art of joint rolling. That’s ok, because it’s 2017 and the world has so many options for us poor pathetic excuses for stoners. There’s vapes, there’s travel sized bongs, Pinterest for DIY bongs when you’re in a pinch, the list goes on and on. But if you’d like to roll a joint and aren’t able to do it the ol’ fashion way, here’s some products that you may find helpful.

Rolling Joint Machines

Keep in mind that even though I smoke, I am also new to a lot of cannabis practices that have been happening for ages. I’m not sure how long the RAW joint rolling contraption has been available, but I’m very happy I discovered it.

So I had a little trouble with this, but that’s probably because I skimmed through the instructions because I hate instructions. I find my self skimming to get to the good part which usually leads me to the end and then I realize maybe I should just start over and actually read what it says.

But I didn’t do any of that. I went on youtube because I’m a proud VISUAL learner and I like seeing how things are done versus reading about them.

“Why does the fucking raw tent material thingy keep coming up” is a question I asked myself over and over after each failed attempt. It was simple, I wasn’t using enough flower. If you’re a cheap bitch like myself you best throw caution into wind and build that shit up. This is not the time to start rationing shit out. The more you put the better I found the sleeve stayed in place without popping up.

I also brought some crutches, aka pre-rolled tip because I really don’t like manual labor. It’s not for me. Make sure to put that in before you add the flower as that’s the CRUTCH of your joint (I’ll be here all night.) After doing both steps bring the bottom wheel back into place and start rolling forward.

After rolling it and making sure the flower is packed tightly together in the shape of a cigarette, add paper. I licked both sides of the paper as it was sticking out from the rollers because I couldn’t figure out which one to lick, making my joint loose. Like my vagina, I prefer my joints tight. Because nothing makes you feel more womanly than being able to crush a penis with the very part of your body that expels life.  But you can’t use yoni eggs for joints after they’ve been created so you’re only left with the choice to do it right the first time.

Make sure to roll the paper in there for a good while to make sure joint is tightly wound. After that, bring the bottom part back down to open it and you’ll find a beautiful joint waiting for your consumption.

Here’s a short one minute video that should help you:


Maybe you don’t want a joint rolling machine. Maybe you just can’t with any extra steps and want the cone pre-made for you.Which brings me to RAW Cones. Omg, before I discovered vapes, this was my favorite go to for smoking. They’re already ready to be packed with your strain of choice, and they even have a built in crutch. YASSSSSS!!!! COME THROUGH RAW!!!!


How to do it man I gave up on being manual along time when it came to joint rolling. I’ve actually given up on a lot of things but that’s not really relevant. I will definitely try again in the future, but at this moment these practices suit me just fine. If you don’t wanna embrace technology for the beautiful gifts it’s bestowed upon us, that’s totally fine. But I can’t help you because I’m shit at rolling joints.

*Dances away vaudeville style*


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